Impossible and the minker from hell...

Things started well. Milk arrived on time and I was ready to rock, we picked up an eager and bearded Tomato and set off to the boot in good spirits. There was a little chattah about BiG Brother and the weather. The sky looked quite dark and rain seemed imminent but did not dampen our spirits.

The boot was small and our stay was short, we all managed to pick something up. Milk kept his purchases secret while I was open about the two books I had acquired for Monkey-man, Plum returned with "of all things"... a massive sack of bananas!!!

We sped off to Tesco in anticipation of another pathetic breakfast and we were not to be disappointed. Morale had dropped to such a point that Plum Tomato only had beans on toast, I on the other hand had - Lorne Sausage, Pork Sausage, Egg, Beans and Two slices of Wholemeal Toast. Milk's breakfast consisted of.... toast! We all had tea of course but Milk was furious when he discovered he had forgotten to help himself to a cup. There was a bit of a kafuffle over the milk... as usual I picked up a jug of milk that would suffice for all three of the breakfasteers. Out of nowhere flew a man-faced harridan who grabbed the milk jug and screamed in her disgusting Edinburgh drawl that the jugs of milk were for cereals only and under "nay" circumstances to be used for tea. I informed the stinking bitch that the milk was for the three of us but that cut no cheese with the ugly fiend. Milk and Tomato's arses had collapsed and they made not a squeak, the timid beasties looked as if they may bubble so I heroically said, "whatever" , and strode manly to the payment counter. The meal was a sombre affair but we soon cheered up once it was over and did a bit of shopping.

The drive back was the most enjoyable part of the day. We all spotted a chavvie stooping to pick something up. Milk wondered what it could be and came up with the impossible idea that it was a gold coin!!! I decided it was a used condom and Plum thought a fag-end ( I doubt it!!!)...

All in all a good day, the only low point being the shoddy breakfast served by a stinking Edinburgh super-tink who deserves to be gassed.