Heatwave....NOT!

The Queen Mary’s foghorn reverberated around the ‘hood (no one else heard this but it did happen). It signalled the start of the first Inverness boot in quite a while. I picked up a chirpy Toast Boy. No matter what the subject he could see the positive side. Mr Bluebird was indeed sitting on his shoulder ( and probably crapped down the back of his jacket).
On picking up Tomato we followed the rituals of: “I’ll go in the back…No, I’ll go…Please, let me…. But I insist” and “Do you have enough room? …Pull the seat forward…. How do I that? .... Click the seat back….How do I click the seat back?....It’s ok I have enough room, though I’m sitting side saddle”. I am starting to worry as to why nobody wants to sit next to me.
The journey saw the compassionate side of Toast emerge as he addressed the “travellers” issue. He sympathised with their situation and came up with some good suggestions on how to deal with them.
The carboot. The only thing I can remember is Toast shouting excitedly “OOH OOH A ROLF HARRIS STYLOPHONE!. YOU’LL GET A GOOD PRICE FOR THAT ON EBAY!!!” and the stall holder rocketing the price to £25.
The breakfast progressed with the usual hoo-haa. Toast and I stood in a queue that didn’t move for 10 minutes. The trays were manky, I leafed through them looking for good ones but they were thrown down in disgust when I came across a used tomato ketchup sachet flattened like a pressed flower. Luckily Toast spotted trays next to the serving area and they looked more promising.
Toast got served by a young lady, I was due to be served by a gentleman. However a “good crack” guy behind me knew him and struck up an “aye aye manny” type conversation and got served in the process! I was served by the young lady. I got a bit exasperated as I had to choose six items from the non-meat section, all I could see was watery scrambled egg, watery mushrooms and a bit of fried bread that was brittle and saturated in fat. Some new items appeared ... hash browns, tattie scones etc,.. and I was on my way. I was on my way a little prematurely as I forgot to get Tomato’s breakfast. I went through a similar performance trying to get some descent grub for him only to be scuppered by the dreaded “there’s no hash browns ready, I’ll take your plate over”. Rejoining the queue at the till there was now a couple between me and Toast. He was at the till and shouted to me a little manically “I got the BIG milk!”, I chose to ignore him.
I was a very generous fellow. I gave Tomato the one and only breakfast even though I was starving. I wasn’t as hungers as Toast though, he finished long before Tomato and me. Although maybe we did spend some time saying “You can have the breakfast….No no, you stood in the queue…But I insist…”

Problems with Tesco Inverness breakfast on Sunday 19th June.

Queue not moving.
Dirty Trays.
Person behind counter not being pro-active with keeping food topped up. e.g. waiting for the fried eggs to run out before shouting for more.
The full complement of items not on display.
Items on display unappetising.
Dirty cups.
Having to wait for the food to be “taken over” due to there being no hash browns.

The letter of complaint is imminent.
Strange coincidence of the day: Myself and Tomato both having shopping lists on the exact same paper, folded similarly and both with some writing in blue and some in black ink. I noticed this and may have frightened Tomato as I excitedly tried to show him my list, hands a trembling.