A birthday treat

Saturday evening phone call.

Milk: I'll pick you up at 7:30, we're picking up Tomato at 7:45

Toast: I'll expect you at 7:25 and I'll definitely be ready for 7:30

Milk: Excellent.

Sunday Morning.

I arrive at Toasts house at 7:26, he looks staggered to see me at this time and also looks highly suspicious as he is fiddling about with his electric meter. He comes up with a dodgy story about the hydro doing away with meter cards and shows me a dongle attached to his keyring.

Then the performance starts (which is caused by my slightly early arrival). Drawers are opened, pockets are patted, doors and windows checked, pockets are patted once more, the dog is given a treat, there is humm hawwing over whether to take a camera. He's lucky that I am in a good mood. I am then accused of arriving early.

We set off pretty much on time and pick up Tomato who is asleep yet has somehow managed to dress himself and find the Travelon 2000.

Two gentlemen on a tandem hold us up at traffic lights near the carboot. Toast immediately declares them to be gay, I decided that they are Belgian. Some crude comments are made.

The carboot is very poor, though Toast spots some vinyl at 50p each. We decide that this is a fair and proper price.

It will be Tomato's birthday on Tuesday so I decided to treat him to breakfast and also I decide to treat Toast as it was his b-day recently and I didn't get him anything. I think about making it extra special and going to Morrisons. I lose my nerve as we near Morrisions and sail past.

At the Tesco breakfast counter I announce that I will pay for the breakfasts. I didn't say anything earlier as my ever hungry companionswould have gone mental and planned all sort of fantastic breakfasts between them probably ending up replicating the long passed “11”. This way they wouldn't have time to convince themselves that piling on the grub was reasonable and would hopefully be embarrassed at my generosity and order less than they normally would have.

I was going to have a couple of slices of toast but the food looked so good for a change that I found myself ordering sausages, egg, toast and bacon. I was ordering quite slowly, Tomato found this hilarious for some reason and snorted out laughing.

I paid for the breakfasts as promised and it only came to £7.05, not bad at all! (see attached receipt)

For the first time in ages we all agreed that the breakfast was very good. Hurrah!

After the breakfast and the obligatory look round Tesco we headed over to the other shops. I bought a dodgy Yankees top that no-one seems to like except me. Toast bought some canvas shoes from Next. We met up with Tomato who announced that he had bought 9 litres of fence paint at Homebase and I was to chauffer him there. We strutted quickly to the paint area of the store and then wandered about for a bit, Tomato had forgotten where his bargain paint was. We eventually found it in an obscure area of the shop.

We were served by an attractive(ish) young lady and fair put on the charm as we larked about paying for the paint. We came back down to earth on the way out though as we came to the conclusion that she probably thought we were nob-ends.

Lowlight:
A bad show at the boot.

Highlight:
Toast trying on his canvas shoes for the first time. “They're not very comfortable.. I thought you said that Next stuff was good quality..(imitating Next) What shall we do with these flimsy bags? I know, lets put soles on them and sell them as shoes! Bah!”

Triumph for Tesco?!?

Milk arrived early and surprised poor Toast who was sent into a must-get-ready-now-frenzy! Soon they were motoring at high speed to pick up Plum-T who quite frankly was in need of a jump-start, he was quite subdued but soon picked up at the thought of boot-bargains and breakfast. The boot proved to be rather dull and damp, there was nothing there to interest Toast, and I think Plums Travelon 2000 was quite empty, Milk managed to pick up a few vinyl albums at fifty pee a piece, three Mike Oldfield and some African Tribal bleatings. Then to Tesco's we did fly, Toast was hungry and praying that the breakfast would be edible. As we picked up our trays Milk nearly floored Plum and Toast with the announcement that breakfast was to be on him!!! I went for : two sausage, bacon, egg, beans, tattie scone and tea, the ordering went smoothly and we were soon all tucking in to.... a damn fine breakfast! The sausages were firm and tasty, the bacon properly cooked, the egg was excellent, beans warm and the tattie scone done to perfection! Even the tea has flavour! I did wonder if it tasted so good because it was free but Milk assured me that his was good and he had paid for the lot! All in all a most memorable and enjoyable day.

Points worthy of note...
The two fools on the Tandem that wanted to take up the entire highway.

Why was Milks car veering to the left?

Plum-T's hair was quite bouffant but not at it's usual height - He never wears a hat and almost fainted when Milk revealed how much he had just paid for a new one.

Toast became a bit flustered at the chaos of the breakfast table.