MFR Booty

The morning got off to a worrying start for Milk,I think he was apprehensive about the journey ahead, when he got into the car, I could sense his agitation by his body posture which was akin to a person on a roller coaster.

About a minute into the journey he seemed disturbed by the noises emminating from the old Nissan,I tried to put his mind at rest.
He then focused on the road conditions, and gave me regular updates on the possible hazzards in the distance.
I again tried to put him at ease,by reciting humerous reminiscences which seemed to work for at least 2 miles.

At last we arrived only to be greeted by a 1/2 mile queue of cars,I could sense Milk getting agitated again,not helped by me after paying the 100% increase in admission fee,which threw me, I ignored the marshall pointing in an Easterly direction while I continued going North, Milk raised himself in his seat gesturing with cries of "WATCH OUT " when I carried out a correction manouver towards a beckoning marshall in the distance, and into the path of oncoming vehicles, at last we were stopped,a sigh of releif from the now quiet Milk.

I think Milk left the car a nervous and quivering wreck, but he hid it well.

For me the booty went well ,one or two grievances,but nothing to write about, y I had to put a small child right about his juggling capabilities,and one annoying family with a purchase being "put in a baggy" but with that behind me I enjoyed the booty.

The breakfast was very sparse and basic affair, the onboard facillities were not up to Milks standards,noticing that the beverages being dispensed from a cat litter tray,and the absence of cuttlery did not help, this breakfast would have rendered Toastboy unfit.

The sustainance gained from the tea and sandwiches held us in good stead for another round of the booty .
I think the drive home went trouble free,but maybe not for Milk, I may never know.

May MFR car boot.

Moray Firth Radio Charity Carboot.

My car's power steering pump finally gave up and it looked like we would miss the MFR car boot. Luckily tomato had a fine four fendered friend stored in his garage and the day was saved. Toast Boy was not present.

Whilst travelling to the boot a worrying knocking noise came from the floor area beside my foot, tomato calmed me with the following statement “it’s just the speaker in the door…… or maybe the wheel”. Against all the odds we arrived safely and joined a large queue of traffic that for some strange reason and we never found out why, was on the wrong side of the road, even though the correct side of the road was clear.

I felt slightly agitated as we set off on foot, there were many more vehicles in the car park than usual. Bloody people were spoiling the boot already. I came out of the gurn (I’ve seen that spelled “girn” but I don’t like that) fairly quickly, it was a nice day and there was some good stuff on the tables.

My mood was soon to darken. Leafing through a large box of records I found Jean Michel Jarre live in China, double album. Probably not the greatest album but there might have been some good Wikkity Wikkity sounds on it to scr-scr-scr scratch.
Milk: How much for this record?
Crazy Lady: £1.50
Milk: Will you take a pound, the cover’s ripped?
Crazy Lady: Go on then, you’re a chancer.
Milk: (laugh)
Crazy Lady: (nastily) You people have always find some reason to get the price down.
Milk: (bleating in surprise) It’s a carboot!
Crazy Lady: I’ve got to put bread on my table, I’m not giving stuff away etc……
Milk edges slowly out of scene.
There was a lot more disgruntled muttering from her. I didn’t really notice the next 10 “stalls” as I was a bit thrown. I was pondering whether I should go back, demand the return of my pound and throw the record at her. Of course I didn’t. Another box of records came into view. “How much for your records?” “50p” that was more like it. Feeling much better I bored the poor stallholder with the whole dull story of my adventures with the crazy lady.

The only thing that marred the next few rows of cars was a strong smell of shit. I became a touch paranoid, convinced I had stood in it then smeared it all over the back of my trousers while crouching at boxes of records. It wasn’t the smell of farmyard dung but either dog, or worse, human keech. It seemed unlikely that the whole place would be smelling of it so I concluded that I was dragging the smell around.. A quick check revealed nothing. Phew. This was confirmed later by tomato who experienced the same thing. Double phew.

I saw a great thing. There was a big circle of ash where a bonfire had been. A boy, who looked like he was old enough to know better, was lying in it and “swimming”. I was greatly amused. A horrified onlooker hauled him out by one arm. The lady was asking where his mother was but he was standing in a cloud of dust, smiling into the middle distance and saying nothing. I think he may have been simple.

I went back to the car for breakfast. Tomato was already there, standing at the rear with the boot open and had a strange man talking to him. The man, who was indeed a stranger (from the North of England but visiting people in Thurso) was amazed at such an old car being in good condition. Tomato was very proud of this. My suggestion that it was maybe a hint to buy a new car had Tomato clutching his wallet in fear.

Tomato had rather thoughtfully brought tea with him. The tea making area was housed in what appeared to be a cat litter tray in the boot of the car. The tea bag was fished from the cup with a car key! (see below picture). However the tea was most welcome. I had jam sandwiches and tomato had egg “would you like an egg sandwich?”, “would you like a jam one?” we eyed each others sandwiches with suspicion and politely declined.

I went back to buy a strange picture. It was quite old and faded but had some odd 3d effect and appeared to be of Jesus and some other people standing at varying depths of vision, in a field. However when I went returned another discerning art lover must have beat me to it.

Crazy price of the day. Someone spotted I had bought some records and dragged out a Technics record bag with some vinyl in it. There was a Jah Rule album. How much? “Ooooh…err. that one’s hardly been played…..£10”, oh right…how much do you want for the bag? “ooooh ……er……£10”....... IT’S A CAR BOOOOOOT!!!!!

The tea making zone inside our fine four fendered friend. Tomato removes the teabag with the aid of a key.

A Dream Like Breakfast Experience for Milk.

A sudden downpour marked our arrival at the boot. I enjoyed watching the stupid lady park in the big puddle and was highly amused watching her walk on her heels through the water like a freaky Jesus. It was even funnier when, just as she reached dry land seemed to notice that parking in a puddle was an idiotice thing to do. She turned on her heels and headed back into the car. However the stupid cow tried to park next to me in a series of jerky "I'm going to crash in to you" type movements. This was a touch alarming.
The boot was of course a washout with lots of sodden items or goods under clear plastic sheeting. Then I noticed a bloke with a few boxes of vinyl and he didn't seem to be a regular. I hung about for a few minutes but the dude was feart to put the records out, even though it had stopped raining. A couple asked to see his records and he invited them into the back of his multi person vehicle type machine. Damn, why didn't I ask? I was sure the middle aged wifey would be well into hip-hop and would snaffle all the good stuff. I needn't have worried, about ten minutes later she was telling me that she was getting back into old stuff again "I've got Jimmy Sommerville on the car cd player all the time". She seemed amazed that I didn't like the little poof. Yo, shizzle my pizzle bitch.
I was amused when I returned to the car to be told about the guy who had parked in the puddle and had tried, unsuccesfully, to leap to dryness.
So on to the breakfast. I seemed to enter a dream like state as I entered Tesco. I am vaguely aware of toast and tomato noticing the young lad who was serving up genorous portions of scrambled egg. I believe someone said it looked like he was giving 4 portions in one scoop! I was served by a random lady who didn't seem to be quite with it. I passed on the manky plum tomato and got an extra slice of fried bread. The lady asked if I wanted toast, I said no and she seemed to be moving on....hold on, how many items did I have? ...1,2,3,4,5,6,7!...I was a very brave boy next. "Excuse me, I only have seven items". Thankfully there was no hoo-haaa and I got some scrambled egg, I continued the braveness by asking her to make sure there was no liquid with the scrambled egg.
At the checkout tomato was stopped by the operator who was on a high state of alert. She noticed him trying to smuggle through a mountain of butter portions. Tomato pointed out that he was fetching the butter for not only himself but also me and Mr. Toast. I rather helpfully pointed out that I didn't have any toast. This must have endeared me to her as she charged me less than Herr Tomato for my traditional with a pot of tea. Hurrah!
I don't remember much about the breakfast. I had entered the zone. I was not aware of my surrounding or the breakfast. I was one with the void. Suddenly I became aware of reality, my breakfast was finished, ahh toast and tomato are here! what are they saying? I ate mine very quickly? Judging by the amount they had left I must have. Toast was complaining about the low temperature of his grub and dragged tomato along with him. I hadn't really noticed.

There is no heat in this sausage!

The day got off to a fine start. The Boot was a washout for me but I enjoyed watching all the fools splashing about in the rain from the comfort of the car. The breakfast was a disaster, although I received all 8 items.

Bacon - Undercooked and cold
Sausage - mushy and cold
Toast - Cold but edible
Fried Bread - Hard as rock
Egg - Cold
Beans - a very small portion and of course ... COLD!
Hash Brown - High onion content and cold
Tattie scone - cold but edible

Tomato agreed that the breakfast was cold but this was offset by his massive portion of scrambled egg!

Highlights

Watching a very hungry Milk hoovering up his breakfast and...

Plum Tomato getting in a kaffuffle over his butter ration.

Breakfast Protest

The Booty/Breakfast morning got off to a slow and slightly moody start,but Milk got a few work issues off his chest, helped by a concerned Toastboy,then things started to perk up.

On arrival at the booty,we were deluged by a downpour of biblical proportions,Toastboy sat out the whole event,while Milk the true stalwart braved the conditions and filled his boots,I however was side tracked by a young lady who displayed her own biblical proportions.

The breakfast had a mixed response, where Toastboy and myself had a few issues,namely cold meat products and sub standard fried bread, Milk munched his way silently through his CUT-PRICE breakfast at break neck speed.

Toastboy decided to carry out a silent protest, followed by Milk and I . We left triumphant,

My Highlight of the day,

HEY!!!!! excuse me sir,shouted the waitress, did you leave this rucksack behind, *(I am returning it to you even although you left me to clear your table which was in shit order). Err ohh!! yes replyed a slightly embarressed Toastboy,whispering to me, in a low voice, now I wish I had cleared my tray away.

The moral of this story is," He who protests in silence---Must not leave rucksack at scene "

All in all a very good morning.

*Waitress thoughts.

May Holiday Weekend Disaster

The May Bank holiday weekend got off to a very very poor start,when I received a phone call from Milk on Friday evening, telling me that he discovered a fluid leakage coming from his automobile.
It was difficult for me to diagnose the problem over the phone with the scant information relayed to me by Milk, It appears to be coming from the wheely part of the engine and appearing on the radiator ,he uttered in a slightly agitated voice,the odour of the fluid also could not be determined,so it had to be left at that.
Saturday update,
The unfortunate Milk took the stricken vehicle to the garage,only to find that it was closed for the weekend.
The Inverness Booty/breakfast was in jeopardy, and only to be cancelled later.
I received a further phone call from Milk on Sunday,he was now stricken by a Lurgi, possibly contracted from an aged female colleague,and was feeling under the now inclement weather.
What a weekend of misfortune.
We can now only look forward and hope that things improve.
Toastboy remained silent during this dilemma.